So let me be, and I’ll set you free.
I am in misery, There ain’t nobody Who can comfort me.
Why won’t you answer me?
The silence is slowly killing me.
Girl you really got me bad…I’m gonna get you back.
“Thank you so much for coming out again today…” she said into the phone for the 5th time in 10 minutes.
“Are you going to stop saying thank you now? I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of my apartment with my head being this big from all your praises,” I said, laughing into the phone. “Besides, I still feel bad that you got stuck with Biz…”
“Yeah, definitely not a big fan of him and not a big fan of you right now, either,” she said with some attitude dripping into the phone.
“Oh?” I asked as I willed myself not to smile too broadly.
“You gave him my number, didn’t you?”
I heard her huff into the phone, annoyed. “Gee thanks,
. I thought I could trust you enough not to give my number out to complete morons. He’s very pushy and forward…” she exclaimed before fading off. Taylor
“So, what are you up to on this Friday night, Ari?” I couldn’t help but chuckle, because I was fairly sure Biz asked her to dinner.
“Nothing,” she said short-like.
“And why not? It’s a Friday, Ari. Even you told me the other week that you needed to start getting out some more.”
“Cause I refuse to go to dinner with Biz,” she whined. “I’m not really sure on him, Taylor. Just for the short time I spent with him, he annoyed me for at least 95% of the time.”
“He takes a little getting used to. He is a different breed, but when he gets his mind set on something, he’s usually pretty persistent.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You can’t say nothing when I can clearly tell that nothing obviously means something.”
I hesitated and then said, “Come over to my place for dinner. I’m making some chicken and veggies, you can be in charge of dessert…”
“I’m game. What time?” she asked, almost sounding relieved that I was asking her.
“Um, how about you go home, get changed and come over when you are ready. That way I have a buddy for when I’m cooking.”
“Can I make the dessert there?”
“Okay. I’ll be over then. See you in a little
As soon as I hung up my phone it rang again.
“So, I asked Ari out on a date and she turned me down!” he whined into the phone.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, “Told you that before you asked her.”
“Dude, you gotta help me…”
“I can’t believe you are asking for help already! You are the man that can seem to pick up any girl you want. Do you mean to tell me that you are already out of tricks?!”
He paused and I swear I could hear the mouse wheel in his head working overtime. “Ugh, now I know why you don’t date much, this working hard to pick up a chick, sucks ass!”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” I yelled into the phone, knowing he was messing with me.
“I’m just saying the girls usually fall onto my bed without asking and that you usually have to work harder, that’s all. Its cool man, not everyone can be as smooth as me…”
“Obviously you aren’t being so smooth right now, Prince Failure…” I snapped back.
“Ugh! I know. Okay. So it’s a Friday night and I don’t have a date…” he rambled on as his ADD seemed to kick in full force once more.
I knew what was coming next so I just stopped him before he even asked. “Dude, I got plans for tonight. I am not going out with you.”
“But, Py?! What plans could you seriously have tonight?! I am your fucking social director dammit!”
I rolled my eyes and chewed into the phone, “You are not my social director and for your info I have my own dinner date tonight.”
“What?! You dawg! Who?! That teacher, Miss…?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“I’m going to ask you, man to man. Do you like her more than a friend?” Biz growled semi-angrily into the phone.
“No, man. I’ve told you this 100 times now,” I said calmly but smiling for the small victories in life.
“Is there any chance she has feelings for you?!” he asked, raising the pitch of his voice slightly.
“Nah, she’s definitely a sister to me and I know she feels the same about me.”
I heard him blow out air into the phone, causing me to pull the phone away from my ear. “I’m not done with her.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled into the phone, becoming exhausted from this drama he was making out of nothing. “Dude, I gotta go get some shit cleaned up. I will talk to you later.”
“Bye, Biz.” At that, I hit the end button on my phone and dropped the phone on the floor as I covered my eyes and left out a semi-psychotic laugh.
God, I love fucking with him!
A week went by and I probably left more than a dozen voice mails and texts messages on her phone. She answered three of them. One text message said: I don’t go out on school nights. Another text message stated: I don’t let strangers in my house, even if they do bring take-out. And then the last text message on Friday night said: Yes, I realize it’s a Friday night, but I have house stuff to get done and tomorrow I’m doing yard work.
I got the distinct feeling she was blowing me off and I can’t remember the last time I was blown off by a chick. It had to be way back in middle school or something…
Obviously the phone messages weren’t working and I needed to step up my approach. So, I did what any boy would do when they were out of options; Saturday morning I headed over to the Doan’s house to ask if I could borrow their lawn mower.
I woke up at 8:30am, much to my dismay. I probably had a few more mojito’s than I should have had and now I was paying with a slight nagging headache. However, they tasted really good and I had a nice time spending the evening with
talking about nonsense and Biz. Of course when I left I was still not a believer when it came to Biz, even though Taylor did say it might be a good idea to give the guy a chance. The biggest thing that bothered me this idea was that even Taylor seemed slightly hesitant to tell me to go forward with this. Plus, to be truthful, the whole million text and voice messages were a little overkill. The guy just seemed plain pathetic. Taylor
“Why should I do this? Even you sound a little unsure of telling me to go on a date with him…” I asked while eying him up through my almost empty Mojito glass.
He took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch as he looked up at the ceiling for answers. “Okay, so Biz is…well, he can be a player,” he said slowly.
“So you are telling me to get back into the dating pool with a player?”
“Yes, I mean no, ugh. For some reason, this time I think things might be different with him. He really wants to get to know you,” he stopped and took a deep breath as he picked his head back up to look at me. “For my sanity, can you please just go out on one date with him?” he pleaded.
This was obviously my cue to leave for home because I couldn’t believe
was asking me to do such a thing. I got up from the couch and began walking over to the kitchen with my empty glass. I then stopped as my annoyed anger boiled over. “For your sanity?! Since when has our friendship been based on favors?!” Taylor
I shook my head and said, “Don’t give me the fucking puppy dog look, Taylor Pyatt!” Of course by the end of my one sentence rant, I was beginning to smile because he had now popped out his lower lip for the fully puppy face effect. I turned away and proceeded back to my initial route to the kitchen. “I will not be pushed into anything,
. No matter how cute you look right now!” Taylor
I heard his laughter come up behind me and then off to my side as he propped himself up against the kitchen counter next to me. “Okay, Ari. No pushing. I never did it before, and I won’t do that now. Besides, I wouldn’t want you to do it to me. I’m sorry.”
I looked over at him, trying to be stern faced but failing miserably as I pouted, “Fine, you are forgiven.”
He then pulled me into a hug and kissed me softly on the forehead like he always did when we said goodbye.
Back to today…
It was hot out early and I didn’t really have any plans until the evening. I had decided that I would probably make my way out to the Hard Rock to see Maroon5. I was in love with their lead singer, Adam Levine, plus I was in the mood to do some dancing to live music. I had already talked to Rachel (Miss Sharp), and she was of course game to go out.
So, since I wasn’t up to anything, I decided to slip into my bikini and lie out on my patio and catch some sun. I had almost dozed off when I heard a lawn mower start next door at the Doan’s. I thought it was strange for our lawn guys to be mowing on a Saturday, but didn’t think much more about it. I rolled over onto my belly, put the towel over my head to keep my face from burning and closed my eyes once more. I was once again in la-la land when I was curious to find out why the lawn mower seemed so loud all of a sudden.
I lazily picked the towel up so that I could see out. I blinked my eyes twice before it clicked that the picture I seeing was actually real. There, mowing my lawn was a tall, dark haired, sweat glistened, tan skinned man with some of the most defined muscles I had ever seen. He had several tattoos all over his body, including a full left sleeve of them covering his arm. At first I found myself drooling over the fact that he had one of the most beautiful bodies I had ever seen. Then my mind shockingly registered the fact that this man was mowing my lawn, in just a pair of work boots and a black Speedo!
“Why do you need the lawnmower and why do you need to know which house is Ari’s, Paul?” Andre asked slightly confused, but not surprised, as I stood nervously on the Doan’s front porch.
“Well I figured I’d do her a favor and mow her grass…”
“Our lawn guys take care of that for her. We use the same guys. Besides, since when do you know Ari?” she asked suspiciously.
“Um, since last week at that school reading thing we did.”
As soon as I finished my words, Shane came down the steps and walked up behind his wife. “Hey, Shane!” I said with a grin.
“Did I hear you want to borrow the lawn mower?”
“Is this some way of getting Ari’s attention?” he probed as he put his arm lovingly around Andre, like I might try and hit on her too.
I didn’t really expect the 20 question routine and I was getting a little flustered by this point so I just decided to spit it out. “Look you two, I have a plan. I’m going to mow Ari’s lawn to show that I am a nice guy…”
“Aren’t there better ways of showing her you are a nice guy?” Andre asked, obviously realizing there was more to my idea.
“I’m mowing in my Speedos,” I said, dejected by the fact that I had to give up all the details of my plan.
“Oh hell! You really are one messed up kid, Paul,” Shane broke out, laughing. As soon as he controlled himself a little I heard him incoherently say, “The mowers are in the shed, it’s already open. Have at it. I’m soo taking pictures.”
I ran off the porch as I yelled, “Thank you!” I was relieved that I could finally get to my task.
I looked over into her back yard and couldn’t believe my luck when I saw her lying out on her patio. I stopped and stared for a moment, taking in the beautiful site. Her golden colored skin shimmered in the sun from the tanning oil she had put on. Her black hair was pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head and she was sporting red, mirrored, half-framed Oakleys. She wore the tiniest white, string bikini that contrasted just right against her already darkened skin. She’s actually better looking in real life than she was in the fantasy I conjured up the last week while I tried to sleep. She undeniably had the short, stocky yet well toned body going for her and I was drawn to her like a bee was drawn to honey as I stood and licked my lips, swearing I could already taste her. I shook my head to clear my lust and get back to the task at hand. I’m not going to even get close to tasting her if I don’t win her over first!
I started the mower and took care of the small front yard first, so at least that would look even. Some of the neighbors were driving by and beeping their horns. I just laughed and waved. I thought for sure she would have come around front to check, but when I got around to the back I noticed she had rolled over onto her belly. I almost mowed over some of her flowers as I became mesmerized in the slope of the small of her back and the perfect line that lead to the sexy curve of her ass. I swore under my breath and went back to focusing on the straight lines of my lawn mowing endeavor.
I just made my turn to come back down the line when I looked over and noticed her standing on the edge of her patio, scowling. I just smiled broadly and waved at her, ignoring the fact that she looked as if she just might call the cops on me. I turned around once more and as I looked up, I found her standing in my way with her hands on her hips. I stopped and shut off the mower.
“Morning, cupcake!” I said with a broad smile, hoping she couldn’t see that I was actually nervous as all hell.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing?!”
“I figured that maybe if I helped you get your chores done today, I could take you out on a date tonight.”
“Um, I pay for someone to mow the grass, Paul.”
Nice, she called me by my first name. Plus it was so in that scolding teacher voice that I was quickly finding I enjoyed.
“Well, I wanted to make sure you had no excuses tonight,” I chirped back bravely.
“Last time I checked, I don’t need excuses to say no if I don’t want to go on a date with you.”
“Last time I checked you really have nothing to lose by going on a date with me.”
She took a deep breath, obviously trying to keep her own cool. “Paul, I do not want to go on a date with you. We have nothing in common and I’m not really interested in a relationship right now,” she said rather calmly, surprisingly.
“Well fine, suit yourself. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to go see a band with me tonight. No strings attached, I would act like the perfect gentleman of course. I’d even bring you home so that you can sleep in your own bed tonight. No expectations, of course,” I said as nonchalant as possible.
I leaned down to start the mower again but was quickly interrupted by her walking closer to me.
“Fine! But I swear, you lay a hand on me and you are taking me home. I have tickets to see Maroon5 tonight at the Hard Rock. Pick me up at 8pm…”
“I would like to take you for dinner, first…” I cut in, but she cut me right off.
“8pm. Eat before you pick me up, we will just be attending the show. Nothing more,” she snapped before she turned on her heal and walked back towards the house. I was staring at her ass when she suddenly stopped and turned back to look at me. “Oh, and for god sakes, put a pair of shorts on if you are going to finish mowing my lawn!”