Chapter 11

Unabashed honesty would be ideal but a prophet did once say that honesty is a lonely word.
So where do we go from here, abandon ship now?
My problem is you make me melt and I don't want to be frozen anymore.

Have You Ever? - Incubus

Ch. 11

“Ari, please call me back,” I pleaded into her voice mail as I left the rink.  She was most likely still at school, but I wanted to make sure I got at least 3 messages to her before she got home.  “We need to talk.  Don’t leave me hanging, princess.”

I hit end on my phone and flopped back onto my couch.  My body ached from our first day of camp and it probably didn’t help that Py hit me into the boards every time he got a chance.  Doaner wasn’t much better, and he’s the fucking captain who was on my scrimmage team.

“You need to tell her,” he growled at me as he brushed by me to leave.

I just looked up and nodded to acknowledge him as I thought, “No shit Sherlock, it would be a big help if she would just answer my phone calls.”

I drove by the elementary school, debating if I wanted to wait for her to come out from work.  Probably not the best idea, but then again I’ve never been one to make smart decisions.

I was sitting on the tailgate of my truck, swinging my legs as she walked out.  She didn’t see me as I stared at her.  She had her hair pulled back and looked like a proper teacher, instead of the woman who was begging to be spanked by me in the beginning of the week.  I saw her look up her face shadowed over with a look of surprise and annoyance.  Definitely not the look I was hoping for…

“Paul, what are you doing here?” she asked, sounding worn-out.

“Well I figured that since you don’t want to answer my phone calls, I’d corner you some other way,” I said with a big grin as I jumped down off the tailgate and walked over to lighten the load of bags she was carrying.  Surprisingly she didn’t put up a fight.

“I didn’t answer them because I figured we didn’t really have much to talk about.”

“How can we not have much to talk about?  I feel like I am on a roller-coaster with you, Arianna.  I want to know where we stand.”

“Isn’t it obvious?  You said yourself Monday night that we were not a couple,” she said shortly as she took the stuff out of my hands and placed it in the trunk of her Jetta.

“I didn’t say that I didn’t want to be a couple…” I pointed out as my mind tried to figure out how saying something I didn’t mean to be rude had come out so wrong.

“Its fine Biz, it just made me think about some things.  I’m sorry, I’m just not the type of person to fuck and not have a relationship with them,” she said point blank.  “Don’t get me wrong, the sex was great, but I don’t think you and I have a lot in common besides that.”

Ouch.

“Pardon me, but I’m pretty sure we had a little more going than besides the great sex, Ari.  Plus, how am I supposed to ask you to spend time with me when you don’t even answer your phone?” I asked, feeling a little desperate for something to grab onto.

She looked up at me with sadness in her eyes and then spun around to open her driver’s side door.  “Next time you go on a date with someone, when you are attempting to start a relationship with someone else? Don’t post it on Twitter,” she announced.  “I have a Twitter account, Paul.  I’m not that out of touch with the world.”

“Please, let me explain,” I pleaded as I touched her arm.  “I met her before you and had agreed to go get sushi with her.  It wasn’t really a date; it was more a friendly dinner…”

She put a finger to my lips and whispered, “Ssh.  You are just digging a bigger hole.  I’d like to be left with more positive than negative thoughts when I think about our couple times together.”  My heart was crushed when I saw the beginning of tears in her eyes.  By the time I reached out to her, she was already closing her door and starting the car.

You fucked up now, Biz.

I woke up from my afternoon nap to find 5 missed calls on my phone: 3 from Biz, 1 from Upshall and 1 from Ari.  The message from Scottie was about going out to dinner with the guys, the ones from Biz were about how Ari already knew about the Twitter messages and he was afraid that he completely fucked up, (Yea, no shit.), and the one from Ari was just asking if I was up to anything tonight because she needed a friend.

So, I called Uppie and told him that I would not be available for dinner.  I didn’t even bother calling Biz back because I still was in no mood to listen to his crying and then I called Ari.

“Hey, Taylor,” she said sounding exhausted.

“Hey, Ari, you want me to come over there or do you want to come over here?  We can get take out of something,” I said gently into the phone.

“Can I come over there?”

“Sure, you want to pick up sushi on the way over?”

“Sounds great.”

“Just tell them to put it on my card.  My treat.”

I smiled when I heard her sigh into the phone.  She always pitched a fit when I said this, but surprisingly she didn’t put up a fight this time.  “Okay, the usual?”

“Yup!” I said cheerfully, excited that I won the small battle.

“See you in a bit.”

“Bye sweetie.”

45mins later she showed up on my door step with a container of some mixed drink she came up with, take-out bags of sushi and a tired smile.  I took the stuff out of her hands and carried it into the kitchen as she shuffled in with me.  Once I set it down, I turned around and pulled her into a hug.  She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my chest and took a few deep breaths.

“I promised myself that I wouldn’t come over here and have a cry-fest,” she mumbled into my t-shirt.

I rested my chin on her head and breathed in the sweet scent of her shampoo as I said, “Well, I will hopefully help you keep that promise.”

She took me off guard when she looked up at me with her large hazel eyes and smiled softly.  I felt my heart skip a beat and before I knew it, I watched my hand come up and softly brush a piece of her hair back off her face, tucking it behind her ear.  It was such a simple gesture but it was something I hadn’t done to a woman since Carly.  The feeling that pulsed through my veins was also something I hadn’t had since Carly and it scared the living shit out of me.  I stepped back so quickly that Ari almost lost her balance and fell.

“Sorry,” I coughed, quickly walking over to the cupboard and pulling out some glasses for the mixed drink.

When I turned back around Ari was already placing the sushi on plates for us, seemingly oblivious that anything passed between us.  Calm yourself down, Taylor.  You’re probably just over reacting with this because you had a taste of what it was like to be in the dating world.  You know Ari is just a great friend…Okay, a beautiful, great friend.

We ate dinner in our normal spots on the couch and turned on the baseball game.  “So Biz stopped by my school today,” she started after several minutes of eating our food in a comfortable silence.

“Really?”

“Yeah, he was waiting for me when I came out.”

“Well, he probably felt he didn’t have much of a choice since you weren’t answering his phone calls,” I pointed out.

She shrugged as she popped another California Roll in her mouth.  “I guess your right,” she mumbled with her mouthful of food, quickly covering her mouth as she realized what she just did.

I couldn’t help but laugh.  “Ari, really, do you think I care that you talk with your mouth full?”

She shook her head back and forth, still chewing and attempting not to laugh back so she wouldn’t choke.  She took an exaggerated swallow and smiled, “I might have come from a poor family, but I did learn my manners.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the silly face she made as I motioned for her to go on about her meeting with Biz.

“Oh, yeah.  So, he asked me why I didn’t answers his calls and I told him it was because of what he said the other night before he left.  He tried to insist that he didn’t mean that he didn’t want to be a couple, but I shut him up when I brought up the Twitter thing…”

I almost spit up my food when she said something about Twitter.  She raised an eyebrow and glared at me.

“Don’t tell me you think I’m that naïve to not have an account when I was thinking about seriously dating BizNasty2.0?”

I shrugged my shoulders as I kept chewing, pleading the 5^th.

“You boys are all pathetic,” she said with a smirk as set her empty plate on the coffee table and turned to the TV.

I followed suit and then asked, “So, now what happens?”

“I’m done.  I’m going back to being a hermit.  It’s meant to be,” she said in a flat tone that if I didn’t know her any better I would have thought she wasn’t joking.  “I guess its back to the drawing board.  To tell you the truth the whole thing has taken so much out of me this week that I could probably swear off dating and relationships for the rest of my life,” she said as she looked over at me.

“It’s also the anniversary, isn’t it?”

She studied her bright pink toe nails, like she never noticed them before.  “I can’t believe it’s been two years,” she spoke quietly.  “I still swear I’m going to come home and find him waiting for me.  I hear footsteps around the house and I turn to find either Yas or no one.  Every now and then his scent catches my nose.”

I knew exactly how she felt.  I still felt Carly with me everyday.  It just reassured me that I was not crazy. 

I patted the couch next to me for her to come over. She crawled across to my side and squeezed in between me and the back of the couch.  I placed one of the throw pillows on my chest and she quickly took the invite for her to lay her head on it.  Within minutes of quietness, she was sound asleep in my arms, yet I could still sense her uneasiness with life.  Unfortunately, I knew exactly how she was feeling.

I woke up to the sun light from Taylor’s sky-light shining into my face.  I was covered in a soft blanket and I had a one of Taylor’s pillows under my head.  I rolled over to see that it was 930am; next to me on the table was a note.

Hope you are feeling a little better this morning.  I had to be at practice at 7:30 this morning, so I’m sorry I couldn’t see you off.  Just lock up when you leave.  I’ll be in touch later to see how you are doing.  Love, Taylor.

I couldn’t help but smile.  I could never thank anyone enough for bringing him into my life.  He really was a great person with a big heart.  I have to say I was a little thrown off last night when he hugged me in the kitchen.  The look in his eyes was unfamiliar to me and the moment that passed between us completely threw me for a loop.  His simple gesture of brushing my hair of my face sent a jolt of energy through my skin.  You are completely imagining things.  Taylor is your best friend; not a chance.

“So what, you moving in on my girl?!” Biz probed as soon as I climbed in his truck to go for practice in the morning.

“Last time I checked she’s not your girl and no, she fell asleep on my couch.  It’s been a tough week for her,” I said, not really wanting to get into it with him.

“Tough week for her? Hello, I’m the one she basically dumped.”

“She didn’t dump you.  You were never a much a couple to begin with, dumbass.”

“I wanted to be a couple,” he said, sounding a little deflated.

“Maybe you should have told her that sooner,” I answered honestly.

“So what is wrong then?”

“It’s the 2 year anniversary of Steven’s death,” I said hesitantly, feeling protective of Ari.

“Oh, damn.  Okay, I guess her week has been worse than mine.  I guess I didn’t help that much,” he spoke thoughtfully.

“Probably not.”

“Do you think I still have a chance with her?”

“Not at the moment.”

He looked over at me as he said, “Py, I still really like her, a lot.  I don’t know, there is just something about her that I can’t get out of my mind.”

I just nodded and didn’t say anything because I really didn’t have anything to say this time.  I can’t get her out of my mind either.

The week went by without any phone calls from Paul, which was to be expected for their first week of training camp.  The only communication that occurred was on Monday when a bouquet of black-eyed susan’s showed up on my doorstep with a note that read: Saw these on the street corner with a bum. Hopefully they brighten your day like my money brightened his day. Boom. Love, Biz.

I couldn’t help but bust out laughing.  Every time I came home that week, I smiled when I walked in the door and noticed them sitting on my kitchen table.

“So do you want to come along with me and the kids tomorrow?  We are headed to the zoo,” Andre asked as spooned spaghetti and meatballs onto everyone’s plates.  When the team was out of town, I spent many evenings at the Doan house during the hockey season.  Andre and I both needed adult time and I loved spending time with the kids.

“Sure, I’d love to.  Haven’t been there in forever and they calling for it to only be in the high 80’s, so it should be a great day for that,” I said with a smile as Rylan stood next to me, trying to help me put dinner on the table.

“Have you heard from Taylor or Biz at all this week?  You haven’t mentioned either of them,” Andre asked as we began eating.

“Taylor called the other night when they were on their way up to San Jose.  He just called to check in on me and to let me know that despite the black eye he was given in the LA game, he was okay.”

Andre looked at me slightly confused.

“I texted him after the game because he was bleeding profusely on the ice, so I was worried,” I admitted.

“Oh, yeah, I did see that punch.  Smyth really went after him.”

“Yeah…”

I watched as Andre took a deep breath and I knew she had something on her mind as she swirled the wine in her glass. 

“Spit it out Andre,” I said.

She left out a nervous laugh before she finally spewed out her question.  “Are we back to square one in the dating department?  Shane told me what happened with Biz…”

“Like I told Taylor, I’m becoming a hermit.”

“You can’t be a hermit crab, silly Ari,” Rylan piped up at the dinner table.

Andrea and I both burst out laughing as the confused looking child sat there wondering what he said that was so funny.  Once we stopped laughing and Rylan went back to eating his food, I continued.  “The after-hour activities were great, but I need something a little more serious.”

I looked back up to find Andre swirling around her wine once more.  “What about Taylor?”

I leaned back and my chair and sent her a glare.  “How many times have we had this conversation, now?”

“I know, I know,” she waved me off.  “It’s just that I see how comfortable the two of you are together and I can’t stop thinking that you both have feelings for each other that you hide because you are afraid of ruining the friendship you two have built…”

“And if that’s the case, then it’s a good enough reason for me not to get involved with him.  I value his friendship more than anything; you know this.”

“Taylor is such a good man…”

“He is, I have never said otherwise,” I said, trying to get the subject dropped, knowing that I wouldn’t get out of it that easy.  I took a deep breath and questioned, “I can’t take the chance of throwing myself at him to find that he absolutely does not see me in a romantic way.  It would kill my self-esteem for one thing and it would make everything awkward, effectively killing our friendship.”

“You of all people know that you don’t get what you deserve without taking a risk once and a while,” Andre said quietly before draining the rest of her wine.

BizNasty2point0: Night out in Cali wit Py & the rest of the boys. Desert dogs on the prowl. Howl.

“Do you really have no inhibition?!” Py chirped at me as he found me in a dark corner of the club getting nasty with some red head.

“A little busy here,” I complained as she was giving me a hand job, very discreetly.  Okay, maybe not as discreet if Py realizes what’s going on.

“You are going to get kicked out soon because I just heard someone inform the bouncer of your antics over here,” he persisted.

“Some blonde haired chick?” I inquired as I put my dick back in my pants and gave my new muse a thank you kiss.

“Yup.  Guessing you didn’t want to get nasty with her?” he asked sarcastically.

“You could say that,” I said as I came up for air, noticing some big black guy walking our way, not looking very amused.  “Here, comes sergeant party-pooper patrol,” I informed as I began pretending to dance with the girl who I was planning on taking back to the room so that we could finish what we started.

“Excuse me,” McGruff the bouncer, growled.

I turned around with a surprised look on my face and smiled innocently as I put my arm suggestively around Py and asked in my gayest voice, “Yessss sssir?”

“I got a complaint that you were doing some indecent things over here…” he stuttered in a surprised voice as I ran my fingers through Py’s hair.

“Just because my boyfriend and I were having a good time over here does not mean we are being indecent,” I whined as I put my hands on my hips for added theatrics.  “Unfortunately the world is still not understanding of people who are comfortable with their sexual orientations.  Are you saying gays are not allowed in this bar?”

The bouncer took a few uncomfortable steps backwards and held up his hands as he stuttered, “Oh, no sir, I’m sorry.  I must have been given the wrong information.  No problem, have a nice evening.”

As soon as he turned away, Taylor turned and pushed me backwards with a scowl on his face.  “Stay the fuck away from me!” he yelled a little too loudly, yet I could tell he was laughing on the inside.

“Dude, the gay guys get all the girls,” I yelled back to him as he walked away shaking his head.

“Taylor, I want to tell you, but I don’t know how,” Ari said softly as she walked hesitantly towards me.  She was standing in my bedroom, dressed in my robe, leaving it open enough to tell me there was nothing underneath it.

“What do you want to tell me?” I asked smoothly, hoping it was what I wanted to hear.

“I’ve wanted to be with you for so long,” she said as she circled me, letting her finger drag across my skin as she moved.

I reached out quickly and pulled her back around to the front of me and kissed her hard on the lips, causing her to melt against me.  I ran my fingers gently through her hair, thinking I could never get enough of its softness.

“Love me,” she cried quietly as we ended the kiss.

She didn’t need to tell me twice.  My hands slid into the open part of the robe and with a smooth motion across her shoulders, it fell to the floor, revealing her beautiful tanned skin body to me.  Her breasts fit into my hands yet over flowing slightly and as I touched her she left out a moan that made her sound like a purring cat.  She arched her back as I ran my hands slowly over her body, reveling in how it felt to my awakened senses.

I wrapped my arms low around her waist, splayed my hands on her supple ass and pulled her against me so that I could devour her lips with mine once again.  She tasted so sweet and warm that I debated on just kissing her for the rest of the night, even though my body was calling for more action.  I ran my hands up her back as I began backing her over to my bed when I heard the door slam.

I woke up to find Biz stumbling in attempt to get his clothing off.  I rolled over onto my other side, facing away from Biz, hiding my full hard on as my heart and mind raced at the vivid dream.