Ulterior Motives

I've been thinking of making a blog for just my one-shots and short stories for a while now and today I finally got the ambition to do so! As of right now I have one story posted... I will be posting some others as the weeks go by and I get them proof-read. Obviously this is just a space for the extra things I write which might not all be on hockey players... we shall see... click on the link, check it out and follow!! :o)

www.needabreakdownhere.blogspot.com

Give It Up On Me

Well, I said I wouldn't do it. I said I wouldn't be writing full-stories, but this article and a talk in Philly with K and RebelHeart made the gears begin to turn on a player that people either hate or love. I can't say he's gorgeous, but I can't say he's ugly... I guess I want to say that he is intriguing and makes for a good story character. I am not a Capitals fan, so please don't think of me as one. However, with some help from some willing people, I've had some help in making this story seem as authentic as possible.

I am sure I will have some readers that won't be willing to read this because of the character, and that is fine, but I ask you keep an open mind (like me) and remember I have yet (at least I hope) to steer you in the wrong direction with my random pick of guys... Enjoy and please let me hear your comments (whether you like it or not)!!

www.dontgiveuponme8.blogspot.com

Check It Out!!

Posting one of my archived stories... www.loveandflowers19.blogspot

Check it out!! I'd love to see you all over there and hear your comments!! Also keep on a look-out... I am planning on making a page that will just be my short-stories and one-shots... some will be old and some will be new as the year goes by! I'll let you know when and where! Hope you're all well and thanks again for the support!!

New Story...

Please check out the new story I've been building... www.ifnotnow89.blogspot.com

Well, I'm sad to say that this will probably be the last story I write for roughly a year. For those who don't know me, I'm starting paramedic school in September and my friends and instructors have already warned me that I will have no life but studying, practicals and sleeping. So, I wanted to have one last hurrah before it is time to buckle down and become a full-time student for the first time since I graduated college a few years ago.

I will definitely be posting the rest of the stories I have written and posted on the Hockey Fantasy Fiction board since many have expressed interest in that...so no worries.

I only have a few chapters written of this so far and I contemplated on waiting to post it until it was finished, but like any writer, I am looking for feedback!! It will be a chapter or 2 until we learn about my new hockey muse... strangely, he has been someone that I've been attempting to write about for some time now, but nothing ever seemed to work until this time. I hope you all enjoy and will follow me along on this last adventure before my hiatus!!

Chapter 18 - The End

Talk me down, safe and sound, too
Strung up to sleep
Wear me out
Scream and shout
Swear my time's never cheap

Overground, watch this space
I'm open to falling from grace.

6 Underground – SneakerPimps

Ch 18

BizNasty2point0: To my Biznatches…what shaving cream do u recommend to shave your legs with?

“These heels are outrageous!” I squeaked as the caught the spike of my stiletto caught in the rug that led out to the back patio of the Doan house; I almost dumped the spiked punch all over myself in the process.

“That’s alcohol abuse if you drop a drip of that onto the patio, Miss Bee!” Shane quipped as I steadied myself and set the bowl down.

“If it wasn’t for your wife insisting I wear this outfit with these shoes, no fouls would be had,” I cried as I stomped my foot.

“If it wasn’t for my wife, I would have never known that you could look like a hot hooker,” he chuckled as I tried chasing him down to smack him in the head.  “I’m just kidding Ari, you don’t look like a hooker.  You look like a prim and proper lady that is so going to get laid tonight by Biz.”

This just prompted me to scowl and shoot a pleading look at Andre as she walked out onto the porch to see what the commotion was about.  She looked hot in her sexy cowgirl outfit that matched up with Shane in his own cowboy get-up.

“Your husband is being a pervert!” I whined as I shot a silly glare at Shane.

“That’s nothing new,” she said as she walked over and kissed him on the cheek, basically condoning his behavior.  I just rolled my eyes and walked back into the house to finish up my make-up.  I just put on my “bee antennae” when I heard the music start, causing my heart to skip a beat with excitement.

Paul must be here.

Before walking back outside with a food tray that Andrea had asked me to take out to the table, I quickly pulled the material of my costume down over my butt, hoping it was covering more than it felt.

“You can keep tugging on that material, but it ain’t going to cover more than it is; so you might as well get on with it and strut yourself past Biz,” Andre giggled, after catching me in my worried moment.

“Who says I want to flaunt it for Biz?” I hissed.

“Cuz girl, after you told me Taylor is bringing Rachel tonight, I’m pretty sure that spells out that you made a decision,” she said as she handed me the tray.  “Now get your hot butt out there and put the cheese and cracker tray on the table like a good bee,” she coaxed as she slapped my ass, causing me to cringe when I heard the slap echo throughout the kitchen.

Here goes nothing…

I carefully stepped over the carpet and outside onto the patio, not even daring to look directly over at Paul.  However, through peripheral vision, I could tell that he was turned the other way.  At least I think it was him.

A little smile came across my face as I celebrated my feat of making it across the patio without tripping as I placed the tray on the table.  The smile on my face congealed in horror as I turned to find “Lady GaGa” leaning over the DJ equipment, rerouting some wires. 

“Oh no you did not!” I squeaked out in shock, causing Paul to spin around.  He was wearing little white boy-shorts and a cropped top with silver-glittered circles all over it, complete with pouffy taffeta sleeves.  He had on a short, bleach blonde wig with oversize sunglasses and was clean shaven from head to toe.  Sadly enough, Paul looked more of a woman than Lady GaGa.  I froze due to my astonishment and just watched in awe as he skillfully walked over towards me his white platform, knee high boots with a cocky grin on his face. 

I stood still as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him and his fake cushion-y boobs.  “Will you be my queen bee and sting me, sexy Señorita?  I’ll be your Alejandro of course.” he growled into my ear.

“I don’t sting people whose gender I am questioning at the moment,” I choked out.

At that remark he stepped back and stuck a pose, “So, you think it looks good?”

“You look fucking awesome!” I exclaimed, finally getting a grip.  “How long did it take you to shave?”

“A while because it hurt so damn bad until I realized it worked a lot easier in the shower with shaving cream,” he exclaimed as he turned to show me his left calf covered in razor burn.  He then turned back around and pulled me into his arms again, cupping my ass and squeezing hard with his large hands.  “So, can I take you behind the shed and show you how much of a man I really am?” he growled into my ear.

I tried to wriggle away from his grip but he held me against him tightly, making it impossible for me to get away.  “I think I already know how much of a man you are…”

“But I want you so bad right now.  The way your ass looks, makes me think that I should be taking a bite out of it to extract the honey from you.  Damn girl, you sure know how to drive me crazy,” he grumbled before crushing my lips underneath his.  His kiss was so hot that I literally felt myself melting into him out on the patio.  I vaguely heard people arriving, but it didn’t really seem to matter.  He makes me lose complete control.  As abrupt as the kiss started, it ended the same way.  I found myself stumbling backwards, only to be held up by his steadying arm and a cocky laugh.  “You’re soo mine tonight,” he said dramatically and turned back to his DJ equipment with a diva walk that would definitely make Beyonce jealous.

Never in a million years did I think I’d look forward to getting into bed with a cross-dresser.  You have officially gone off the deep-end, Arianna Larkins.

My mind went blank when I watched her walk out onto the patio.  I didn’t dare turn around and call to her because I knew she was trying to play it cool.  She commanded in the stilettos and her ass was so perfect that all I could think about was how much I wanted to bury myself in it.  Of course I had to watch how much I thought about it, because hiding a hard-on in my GaGa shorts was not going to be possible.

Her legs looked impossibly long with the fish-net stockings and platform stilettos that looked like ice picks.  Her hair was curled and pinned up in a crazy mess, showing off her beautiful neck.  Her necklace with the rings was hanging right where it belonged and my mouth watered at the thought of kissing her where it lay.  Her make-up darkly lined her eyes, causing them to shimmer in the light and her red lipstick looked sinful.  I was fairly sure that Andre had put more than two cents into the get-up.  I will have to thank her later. 

Her face was hysterical when she finally saw my costume and I would have paid a million bucks to have someone take a picture of the moment, but luck would have it that no one was around.  Then again, maybe luck is on my side because I have her all to myself before the party begins.  Down boy.  I couldn’t help but give her ass a healthy squeeze as I pulled her against me.  Kissing her made me basically fall apart and it took all I had to just pull back and leave her wobbling at the aftermath.  The kiss was different than the other ones, like she finally let herself come over to the dark side.  I can only hope she has made a decision because I don’t think I will be able to be in limbo much longer.

Soon everyone began filling up the house and spilling into the backyard.  There were numerous costume contests and of course I won the best of show.  Despite the pain and blisters, the reaction from everyone was worth it all.  Ari on the other hand won the sexiest, which upset me a bit because I was pretty sure my runway walk was more solid than hers.  The hottest couple costume went to Taylor and Rachel.

My heart soared when Taylor walked in with Rachel as his Bond girl, completely throwing me for a loop.  After mingling through the crowd and leaving Rachel with Ari and a couple of the other women, Py walked over and handed me a drink.

“Nice outfit, GaGa.  Looks like we should have been hitting up the drag-clubs in Europe instead of the karaoke bars,” he chirped as I took a swig of my beer.

“Whatever bitch, I’ve so outdone myself and it’s hot,” I smiled back as I watched him shake his head and grin.  “So, when was I going to be informed of this relationship change?”

“I figured Ari would have told you by now,” he said with a confused look on his face.  “We talked on Monday evening after she stopped out at your place and smoothed things out, I guess you could say…” he answered as he looked over at Rachel and Ari dancing to Rhianna’s Breaking Dishes.

“Are you okay with the decision that was made?” I asked sincerely.

“I’m okay with not losing my best friends,” he said as he turned towards me, holding up his beer bottle to toast with mine.  “Don’t fuck it up, dude.”

“I’m just worried she won’t want me either; I mean she didn’t even bother to tell me that she made a decision…”

“Despite the fact that she is still probably second guessing herself, I think it’s a given that she is all yours for the taking,” he answered honestly.

I felt the blood run warm through my body as he said these words, and I knew deep down that he was right.  Either way, this was the first time I ever noticed my heart being capable of beating for one person.

“I have never been grabbed in the ass by so many people in my life,” I whined as I carried in the empty food trays.

“I’ve never seen so many boys drool over one woman before,” Shane said as he took them from me.  “You did good, Ari,” he smiled.

“I’m going home,” I declared as I leaned over and unstrapped the shoes from my feet.  “I can’t walk another inch in these shoes and I’ve got a pounding headache from all the hairpins, plus, I need a shower,” I said as I looked around and saw that most everyone had left, including Rachel and Taylor who looked to be pretty into each other once more.

“Biz is upstairs getting undressed if you want to help him,” Andre announced as walked around the corner, smacking my ass one more time for good luck.

“The two of us in one of your bedrooms alone might be a bad idea.  Just let him know that I went back over to my house and he is welcome to come over if he wants to,” I said as I leaned in and kissed Shane’s cheek.  “I’ll be back over tomorrow sometime to help you get the rest of this place back in order.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow.”

My feet reveled in my flip-flops as I walked over to my house and within minutes I was in the shower and my headache was subsiding.  I combed through my wet hair with my fingers, threw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank-top and headed out to the patio to stare up at the night time sky.

“Andre, how do you women wear shoes like this?” I whined as I walked into the emptied living room and flopped down onto the couch.  She just laughed as walked over and held up the boots to study them one last time.

“I have to say I’m totally impressed.  You looked awesome tonight!” she exclaimed.

“I think I scared Ari…”

“I think you should head over to her house.  You are more than welcome to keep your DJ stuff here until tomorrow,” she said with a smile.

“Did she go home and not say goodnight to me?” I asked, pouting.

“She expressed her discomfort from her own costume and said to tell you that she was over at her place if you wanted to join her.”

That was all I needed to hear.  I quickly threw my t-shirt on and practically ran over to her house.  I got to the front door but as I went to raise my fist to knock on the door but quickly decided it against it and walked around to the back of the house, to her patio.  There, under the moonlight, I found Ari lying on the chaise-lounger, looking up at the clear night sky.  She was in a pair of sweatpants and a tank-top; it was obvious that she did not have a bra on because of how her boobs laid freely towards her sides.  I was mesmerized by the way the moonlight shined down on her face while she gazed upwards, looking at peace with herself.

“Are you going to stand there staring at me or are you going to come over here?” she asked with slight attitude.

“I was enjoying the view,” I answered as I took steps towards her.  I went to sit down in the chair next to her, but she sat up and grabbed my wrist, coaxing me onto her chair.  I scooped her up, sat down and then placed her between my legs so that she could rest back against me.  We sat staring at the stars for a few moments before I spoke.  “So, when were you going to tell me you were back on the market?”

“I’m not back on the market,” she answered simply.

“Well, Py said that you two had decided that it was best to stay friends.”

“Py didn’t lie.”

“So…”

“Sooo…last time I checked, I had two boys I was involved with.  With Py and me staying friends, it means I still have another boy I am still involved with,” she recited as I looked down to find her shy smile creeping across her lips.

I leaned down and breathed in her freshly washed hair.  “You won’t be sorry for picking me,” I mumbled.

“I didn’t pick you; I finally admitted to myself that you have been the one all along…”

“So do you trust me now?” I asked.

“Trust is something you build and so far you have been doing honorably well, but I hope to work on just more than trust,” she spoke quietly.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” I asked seriously.

She turned her head so that she was looking at me and smiled, “I’d like that.”

I couldn’t help but lean down and capture the words in my mouth as soon as she spoke them.  These were the words I had wanted to hear since I met her and they felt even better than I could have ever imagined.  My hand tangled up in her wet hair as she twisted herself around to face me as she straddled my thighs.  Our kisses were slow but deliberate.

She pulled back at one point, “I think I like it better when you are scruffy,” she said like a child as she touched my smooth face.  “It is more you.”

“So you like me for me?” I asked with a chuckle.

“I don’t think I’d change you for the world,” she whispered as she kissed my crooked nose, like she was proving a point and then moved back to my lips.

We kissed for what seemed to be hours, until I couldn’t help but run my hands up under her tank-top and cup her free breasts.  She moaned out in my mouth with anticipation and I was moaning back as she arched towards me, grinding herself down on my hardening cock.

“As much as I wouldn’t mind taking you right here on your patio, I was wondering if maybe we could actually start out by having sex in your bed like a normal couple,” I breathed heavily into her ear.

She laughed lightly and nodded.  “Probably a good idea considering we know what happened last time we tried doing anything outside.  Plus, I’m not very quiet, so I don’t think my neighbors need to hear that.”

With that response, I picked her up and placed her on her feet.  I then took her hand and drug her into the house, racing up the steps to her bedroom.  She went to take off her shirt, but I grabbed her wrist and growled, “Let me.”  She dropped her hands down her side and looked at me with lustful eyes.  This taking it slow for a change is going to kill me if she keeps looking at me like that.

I took a deep breath to get control and walked around behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist as I pulled her back against me.  I lifted up her hair and began kissing her neck, right where her hair line met her skin, by her ear.  She shivered against me and whispered, “Paul, what are you doing?”

“I want to take my time with you for a change because I want to make you completely mine,” I answered between kisses as I way my way down to her collarbone.  While I kissed her, my hands were all over her, under her shirt, down her pants, dipping into her wetness and then back to her breasts.  I’d tease her by bringing her to the edge and then stopping, causing her to cry out in frustration.

All the while, the tension in my body was building and by the time I had her completely naked in front of me, it felt like I could fly a flag with my dick in hurricane force winds.  I finally moved around to the front of her and dropped down onto my knees, placing me right in front of her V.  Knowing what I was about to explore, she placed her hands on my shoulders to brace herself and obliged me when I coaxed her to spread her legs for easier access after I flicked my tongue across her slit.

I teased her for only a short time before delving into her dripping wet folds.  Instantly I felt her grip on my shoulders tighten and I supported her with my hands gripping tightly to her ass.  She tasted like a sweet dream and I couldn’t help but lap up her goodness.  I smiled when she cried out and almost collapsed as she came on my face.  I ran my tongue over her sensitive clit a few more times to produce some more tremors from her before kissing my way back up her stomach.  I eventually stood and pulled her against me, kissing her deeply as she lolled in my arms like a rag doll.

“You are amazing,” she cooed as she laid her head on my chest while he stood holding each other.

“Anything to please a princess,” I said as I kissed her hair.  “Now, for the main course,” I grinned as I picked her up and placed her on the bed.

I felt like I was in heaven as he crawled between my legs and pushed his solid length into me, slowly.  He is an amazing lover, whether it is rushed or taken slow.  He looked deep into my eyes as he rocked above me and murmured words of affection as he pushed deep inside of me.  I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as I held on for the ride.  I could feel every inch of him and he made sure to give me the chance to memorize the feeling as he once again took control.

This was not the BizNasty sex I had been involved with in our other encounters, this was sex from a man who obviously wanted to shake my soul and show how much he could fulfill my every need.  I was lost in his arms and my heart was echoing the thoughts of my head that were applauding my decision that was no longer irrational.  In this moment, I knew I had chosen the right man to show me the world I had missed so much.

“You realize, now that I am in your bed, officially, I am not leaving,” he announced as the morning light spread across the wrinkled sheets that covered our bodies as we laid intertwined.  We had made love a few more times throughout the night, going back to our habit of getting little moments of shut-eye here and there.

“Oh, how so?” I asked curious to hear his goofy thoughts.

“This mattress is too fucking comfortable and I think I love the body pillow that comes with it,” he said as he pulled me tight against him.

“But I love the body pillow that comes with your bed,” I quipped back as I turned my head to smile and beg for a kiss.

“Maybe we can come up with some kind of compromise.  I can bring the frame to your house and we will put your mattress in it…”

“Not so fast killer,” I said as I laughed.

He nuzzled his face in my neck as he laughed along with me, “Damn, and here I thought I might have charmed you enough to make you gullible.”

“No, I don’t think you’ll ever make me that gullible,” I piped back.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I found the spot that makes you say ‘yes’ to everything,” he said as I felt his hand come across my waist and slide down towards the V of my legs. 

I instantly squirmed to face him.  “That’s not fair Paul Bissonnette!” I cried.

“Everything in life is fair when it comes to love and war, princess.  Welcome to my world,” he chirped with his sexy grin as he trapped me under his large body, making me notice my heart and making me glad that I was apart of his world.

Yes... yet another story...

Make Me Believe

This is a story I started writing last year and ended up stopping it for several months because I ended up getting lost and wasn't able to find my way back out with it. Well, some things happened in current events (i.e. trades and whatnot) and now I've found some motivation to finish this... I have to admit. I'm not a Pittsburgh fan. I don't write stories on Pens players because frankly, I'm tired of reading about Pens players all the time.  I found Mr. Neal when he played for the Stars, which is where this story begins and for that he will always be a Dallas Star in my book so that way I don't make myself for liking a Penguin. So the 2nd half of this journey is going to be a little strange to me since I'm treading on territory I'm not used to and that's writing about the status-quo players who frequently show up in Hockey FanFics. I guess we all end up doing things we aren't comfortable with, whether it's in life or in this case, writing. Eitherway, I hope you enjoy it and I can't wait to hear your comments!!

The first several chapters will be posted every other day around 8am since the first half is done... so hopefully you won't be too overwhelmed. The last chapter of Noticed will be posted tomorrow AM. :)

Chapter 17

A/N: Well I'm sad to see that so many people are a little upset with the choices being made by Miss Ari... hope it doesn't ruin the story for you all!! This is the 2nd to last chapter, so get out all your anger now!! LOL Thanks again for the comments! You amuse me. :o)

If I could bottle up the chills that you give me
I would keep them in a jar next to my bed.
And If I should ever draw a picture of a woman
It is you that would come flowing from my pen

Leavin’ your smell on my coat, leavin’ your taste on my shoulder.
I still fail to understand what it is about this woman.

Helplessly melting as I stand next to the sun.
As she burns me, I am screaming out for more
Drink every drop of liquid heat that I've become.
Pop me open; spill me out on to the floor.

Woman- Maroon 5

Ch 17

“I don’t know about this…” I mumbled as I looked in the mirror in the dressing room.  “I’m not usually one to be showing this much skin in a Halloween costume,” I reiterated as I took a longing look at the nun costume hanging besides my clothing.

Andre stepped in front of me, effectively blocking my line of sight from the costume that would have kept me completely covered.  “A sexy bee costume is exactly what you need to have on.  You have the perfect bubble butt to pull this costume off!  We will get you some black fish-net stockings and I’m debating on what kind of shoes we want to put with it,” she said as she bit on her finger while contemplating.  “Besides girl, you got it, you need to flaunt it.  It will have the boys drooling.”

“I don’t need any more boys…” I said as I put my hands on my hips.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I heard her phone make a “picture taking sound” and a devilish grin came across her face.  “Send!” she squeaked out.

I stumbled over my shoes to grab at her phone.  “Wait, who the fuck did you send that too!!” I yelled a little too loud in the dressing room.

“Just Shane.  We need man’s opinion on this.”

“Will he get it?  He’s over in Europe…” My words were stopped when I heard a little bell ding on her phone.

“Oh, he got it!” she laughed as she turned the phone towards me, showing the answer.   “That is one naughty ass bee! She could sting me!”

“That is soo wrong!” I squawked as I attempted to unzip the tight fitting outfit.  “I’m soo not buying this.  The nun costume it will be!”

“I will be buying this for you and take full blame for the consequences,” Andre announced as she turned me around to help get me out of the one piece.

“You do realize that I have two boys fighting over me right now, who, I might add, will be at the party?”

“Yup, but there will only be one who will truly appreciate this,” she said with a sly smirk.

The games against the Bruins and in Latvia went amazingly well.  We played our hardest and the crowd was completely into it.  I scored a goal in the Latvia game which put me in a good mood.  During the Bruins game, Biz got into a fight with Lucic and I got my first point of the year with an assist.  All in all, the trip was a success but I was ready to get home.

The plane ride seemed to take forever and the closer we got to AZ, the more impatient I grew.

“Do you have bugs in your pants or something?” Upshall asked as I moved around once more.

“I just want to land,” I said as I pushed my seat back and rested my hands behind my head.

“You just want to see Ari,” he said in a matter of fact tone.

“Maybe,” I said with a shrug of the shoulders.

“What’s going on there anyway?  I thought you didn’t like her that way,” he said as he quoted his words.

“I did but I didn’t,” I said as I was still running the situation through my head.  “I mean, I guess I always had something for her…”

“But since Biz moved in, you all of a sudden had a light bulb pop on or something?” He asked as he raised a curious eyebrow. 

“Aahhh, yea I guess you could say that.”

“Are you sure you are just being the over protective guy?”

“Whoa, where did that come from?” I asked, a little thrown off guard.  “I don’t think that is the case…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude.  It’s just that I have to wonder if playing the protective brother hasn’t clouded up your mind enough to make you think that you are in love with her.

“Are you saying that I shouldn’t be chasing after her?” I asked as I sat up and looked at him straight.

“I’m saying that I’m just worried that you aren’t looking at the situation with a clear head.  I can understand that you feel comfortable and that it would be easy to fall into a relationship with her, but I’ve always thought that the two of you made better friends.  Plus, after seeing her with Biz, I’m thinking that she found her match with him and I’m pretty sure you noticed the way she has looked at him too,” he said with a little more honesty than I expected.

“He’s a player, Scottie.”

“He’s your best friend and I think you know that if she’s the right one, he will not play her.  Besides, the kid behaved himself like never before, this past week.”  I put my head in my hands and leaned over in my seat.  I felt his hand on my shoulder as he said, “You do what you think.  I know you love her, but I think it’s more in the protective brother way.  I’m not trying to be a dick and I’m not taking sides, I just thought as a good friend, you deserved to hear the truth.”

I turned my head while I still was leaned over and looked up at him and said, “Thanks man, it is nice to have friends that care enough to give the truth; even if it’s words you don’t want to hear.”

I was walking down the hall, headed out to the parking lot when I heard Rachel calling my name.

“Ari, wait up!”

I stopped and turned around to wait for my co-worker.  “What’s up Rach?”

As soon as she caught up we started walking again.  “Um, I was wondering.  Have you talked to Taylor at all?  I tried calling his phone, but it went right to voicemail.”

A confused look must have flashed across my face because she just smiled shyly and explained, “I was wondering if he wouldn’t mind going on another date.  I know I told him that I didn’t want a serious relationship, but the more I think about it, the more I realize he is possibly someone I wouldn’t mind settling down with.  I know it probably sounds silly, considering you know how I’m such a free spirit, but he really is a sweet guy and I did have a lot of fun with him…”

She was still explaining herself dramatically when the wheels of my head began to turn.  I surprised myself when thoughts of jealousy were not to be found.  A weight almost seemed to be lifted off my shoulders.  I was still zoned-out when I finally realized that we were standing at our cars and she was done talking, looking at me with the confused face.

“Ari?  Is something wrong?”

I shook my head and almost laughed hysterically as I answered, “No, no, everything is perfect.  That is awesome that you want to ask him out.  They actually just got back into town early this morning from Prague; they started their season over in Europe for some NHL Premiere Week thing to bolster support for the sport.  Did you leave him a message?”

“Yup, I did!” she said with a new smile.

“I’ll see what I can find out for you, then,” I informed her as I crawled in behind my steering wheel with my heart soaring, knowing that everything could possibly work out better than I imagined.  Now if I can only get myself to take the step into the unknown with Paul.

I walked into my apartment, dropped my bags by the laundry room, stripped down to my boxer briefs and did a face plant onto my bed.  I laid there for a moment, blocking out everything until I took a deep breath and smelled her faint perfume on the sheets.

Princess Ari.

The whole plane ride home I thought about her and at one point I found myself having to use the bathroom and join the mile-high jerk-off club.  All I could think about was her soft skin and her raven hair cascading down her naked shoulders.  The passion of our last kiss made my mouth water and I felt my body panting like a love sick puppy.  My stomach was in knots when we landed and I was waging an internal argument with myself as I tried to decide on if I should just go back to my apartment and call her after work, or camp out in her driveway for a couple hours until she came home.  It was 11am and my body was screaming for sleep, so now here I was sprawled out across my bed, finally drifting off to sleep.

“Are you ever going to wake up?”  I heard her softly whisper.  I opened my one eye to find a blurry smiling face staring back at me.

“If I wake up, will you still be here?” I mumbled back with effort as it felt like my throat was lined with razor blades.

She softly giggled, “I think so.”

“What time is it?”

“6pm, Arizona time.”

“Damn.  I wanted to be awake and meet you at your house when you got home from work,” I said as I attempted to move my body to at least get a hand on her face to make sure she was real.  “How did you get in here?”

“It was unlocked.”

“Hmm…I need to get a guard dog.”

She began rolling away from me as she said, “I’m sorry, I can leave…”

Finally my mind communicated with the rest of my body and I reached out and snatched her before she got off the bed.  “No, no, that won’t be necessary.  You are a perfect intruder,” I murmured moving to fit her against the length of my body.  I took a deep breath of her sweet smelling hair and splayed my hands over her body, causing her to purr in my arms.  “I’ve missed you,” I whispered into her hair.

“Touché,” she whispered back.  “I was just going to wait until you decided to call or stop by, but I couldn’t wait anymore.  I needed to see you at least for a little.”

“So my Biz charms have charmed you enough to miss me?” I asked as I squeezed her and grinned.

She rolled over so that she was now facing me and stared into my eyes.  I stared back, hoping she could see how genuine this really was for me.  My skin burned when her hand hesitantly touched my unshaven face.  She caressed it a couple times and then left it there, just rubbing her thumb back and forth across my cheekbone.  I for once didn’t say one word, I just left her think through whatever was going on in her pretty little head and just stared back into her hazel eyes.

“This is the Biz I like, the man who doesn’t feel the need to put on a production to get my attention, the man who can lay here, staring into my eyes with such raw emotion,” she stated absent minded.

“I will be whoever you want me to be as long as you keep looking at me like you are in this moment,” I said honestly, not moving my eyes from hers.

“I want you to be yourself.”

“Then I can do that.”

She then leaned in towards me and softly kissed my lips.  After a couple soft kisses she pulled back out of my arms and got off the bed as I just laid there and watched her.  “See you at the Halloween Party tomorrow night?” she asked.

“But isn’t it a school night?” I asked as I propped myself up on my elbows.

“I took a vacation day on Wednesday, so I can stay out late and play,” she said with a wink.

“Will you have a date?”

“I figured I’d just pick up a guy while I’m there,” she giggled.

“I’ll be first in line.”

She grinned broadly and blew me a kiss before walking out of my bedroom and out of my apartment, leaving me in the most sexually frustrated state I had been in years.

I was just finishing up dinner when the doorbell rang and seconds later I heard her footsteps walking down the foyer to the kitchen.

“Hola, Taylor!” her voice rang out as she walked over and pulled me into a big hug.  I wrapped my arms tightly around her, but I could tell things had changed while I was gone.

“Hola, Arianna, I’ve missed you,” I said into her hair that filled my senses.

“I’ve missed you too.  Congrats on your goal in Latvia!  I watched it online...I’m pretty sure you could have heard me across the ocean cheering for you.”

“I thought I heard your voice…” I said, pulling back with a smile.  She swatted at my stomach and then walked over to the fridge to get herself a drink.  “Have you already seen Biz?” I blurted out.

She turned around with a glass of milk in her hand and looked at me with a small smile that wasn’t meant to hurt my feelings.  “Yes, actually I just came from there.  I was only with him for a short time; you seem to be handling the jet lag a little better than he.”

“I just woke up about an hour ago, actually,” I admitted as I took a seat at the kitchen island.  “I wouldn’t have minded sleeping all the way thru until tomorrow morning, but I was hoping to see you.”

She just smiled as she sat across from me.  She then looked down at the counter and said, “So um, Rachel stopped me at school today…”

“Yeah, I got her voicemail,” I said, a little surprised that she was bringing it up.

“I think you should give her another chance,” she stated as she looked up at me with a sincere look on her face.

I took in a deep breath, already knowing that this was probably going to happen.  “Oh?”

“Yeah.  I’m not going to sit here and say sorry for anything because I will always cherish that night with you and I will never regret anything I said or did.  However, I think you and I both know that we both need to step out of our comfort zones and not hang onto the past.  We are best friends who have a lot in common, but I think being more than friends would just keep us in the same place with our memories of what used to be with our past loves.  I did a ton of thinking this past week and I think the biggest piece I’d keep coming back to was my fear of completely losing you,” she said as tears came to her eyes.

Without thinking twice I reached out and grabbed her hands.  “I could never let you go, Ari,” I pleaded to her.  “You know, Upshall said basically the same things to me this morning before we hit the runway and his words made me see the same things you are saying.  Then I turn on my phone and find the message from Rachel and things seemed to make even more sense…”

“I love you, Taylor,” she said as she sniffled.

I couldn’t help but smile at her as I got up and walked over to her, pulling her into my arms and kissing her on the forehead.  “I love you too, Arianna.”

We stood together like that for a while until I couldn’t stand to listen to her snot nose.  After handing her a tissue, I led her into the living room and popped on the TV to watch the baseball playoffs.  We both took up our own sides of the couch as we watched the game.

“So, what are you going as for the Halloween Party tomorrow night?” she asked out of the blue.

“James Bond.”

“Ooo!  Perfect.  The blue eyes will sell the whole thing,” she said with a clap of her hands.

“You?”

I watched as her face twisted with a look of disgust.  “Um, I’m not going to say, but I will say that it’s all Andre’s fault.”

I raised my eyebrows, “That doesn’t sound so good.”

“Just let it be known that I wanted to be a nun.”

I left out a snort and shook my head, “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Chapter 16

I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know, that I care
And I miss you

I Miss You - Incubus

Ch. 16

What? This is the 2^nd morning I wake up with a man…and of course it’s not the same man.  What the hell happened to the prude widow I used to be?!

His hand was possessively cupping my ass as I laid half on top of him, using his chest as a hard pillow.  Once again I awoke to him murmuring my name once or twice in his sleep as he ran his fingers lightly through my hair.  I instantly decided that I couldn’t lay here and think about who I was better with because I honestly didn’t know.  Both are amazing lovers and both make me feel like I never felt before.

The sex with Paul was nothing short of crazy and maddening.  It’s often rough and I found us pushing the envelope on what might constitute as pain or pleasure.  It’s raw and needful, turning me on in ways that I didn’t think were possible.  I would have never thought of biting Taylor the night before, like I just did with Paul.  He brings out the lioness in me and I must say that it has given me some of the best orgasms to date.

“I feel your brow furrowed,” Paul mumbled with his eyes still shut.  “Relax and go back to sleep, princess Ari.”

“What time do you need to be at the airport?  Are you all packed?”

“I packed before I came over for dinner last night and I don’t need to be at the airport for another 8 hours.  Until that time, you will be staying right here in bed with me,” he mumbled on.

“But what if I have plans?” I asked with a mischievous grin as I propped my chin on his chest, causing him to open one eye to look at me.

“Pyatt got you all day yesterday.  I get you today; plain and simple.”

“You make it sound like you are sharing me,” I grumbled, still not 100% comfortable about the fact that I was fucking two guys that were best friends whom were well aware of what was going on.

“We are, at least until you make up your mind,” he said as he closed his eye, awaiting the shit-storm he knew he would be causing with his words.

I sat up and put my hands on my hips, completely forgetting about the fact that I was stark naked.  “Excuse me?  Is this a joke or something?!”

“Sssh, you’re too loud,” he said tiredly as he reached out and grabbed my boobs, attempting to pull me back down on top of him.  “No joke.  I told Pyatt that I would not be backing down unless you proved to me that you aren’t in love with me.  After last night, I see that you I am possibly correct in my thinking.”

“And what is that thinking?” I asked, still slightly annoyed at his nonchalant attitude.

“You’re falling for me,” he grinned as he opened his chocolate brown eyes.

“You’re full of yourself.”

“I just know what I want and I don’t stop until I get it,” he growled as he got his hands around my back and pulled me back down to him, knowing that his strength was no match against my weak self.

“That attitude is what makes me so wary of you,” I protested as I tried pushing away from him.  

Next thing I knew he was on top of me and staring keenly into my eyes.  “Arianna, don’t doubt my feelings for you.  I may be rough around the edges at times, but I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I’m in love with you.  If you want me to go stand on top of the building and shout it out while naked, you can bet that I will.  Like I told you last night, everything I say to you is true.”

“That’s what scares me,” I whispered softly as I stared back into his eyes.

His hand came down and brushed some hair off my face as he kissed the spots where it laid.  “Mmm, Ari, I want you to be in my bed every night…”

“If that’s the case, I think now might be a good time to ask what you plan on doing when you are on road trips,” I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I won’t be there to police you.  Will you be faithful to me?”

“I could keep my dick in my pants if I knew I’d be coming home to shove it in you at the first chance I got.”

“That’s so romantic,” I groaned as I rolled my eyes.

“Knew you’d start seeing things my way,” he laughed back before becoming serious again.  “Arianna, you make me want to be a faithful boyfriend.  If you would tell me that I’m the one, I’d be a changed man.”

“I need time to make that decision,” I answered honestly.

“I’ll stay faithful until then.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I don’t,” he said with loving eyes as his lips came down to meet mine, sealing his fate.

“What time did you get here?” she asked as she walked into her living room and found me lying on her couch, with Yas lying curled up next to me.

“About an hour ago,” I yawned as I stretched out.

“You should have called me,” she said as she sat down on the floor, next to the couch so that she was eye level with me.  She was glowing.  Glowing like Biz said she did after he had his way with her.

“I promised Biz I’d leave you alone.  He wanted the same courtesy I was afforded yesterday,” I grumbled as I tasted the bitterness on my tongue.  It made me sick knowing that he had her in his arms all night.

“I don’t know what to do,” she blurted out.

“I don’t know either,” I mumbled.  “I love you though…” I began to say but a look that crossed her face made me stop.

“Taylor, I don’t need to hear anymore I love you’s until I figure this out,” she said with a hurt look in her eyes.

I took a deep breath and just nodded.  “I understand.”

“I’m just so confused and I don’t know which way to go.  I just wish this was easier,” she cried as she ran her fingers through her thick hair.

“I wish I would have told you earlier…” I began.

She looked up and asked, “What changed?  I mean I always thought you were sexy and I’ve always been comfortable around you, but I don’t understand why all of a sudden you are professing your love for me and I’m saying it right back.  All while that is going on, I’m driving to Biz’s apartment and climbing in bed with him.  There is something seriously messed up with me…”

“Sssh, no there is not,” I said as I took her face into my hands.  “Take your time, I’ll be here waiting for you when you figure out what you want,” I declared as my heart clenched, knowing that there was a big possibility of being on the losing side of things.

BizNasty2point0: Hey folks. Don’t think I’ll be able to tweet overseas. So have a good week and wish the Yotes luck.

“Biz, seriously, do you have to use me as your fucking pillow?” Py growled as I folded my tiny complementary pillow and placed it against his shoulder as we flew high above the Atlantic Ocean.

“You promised you wouldn’t be cranky on this road trip…” I mocked.

“I won’t be if you let me get sleep,” he scowled.

“I’ll tell Ari,” I jokingly whimpered.  “You’re not allowed to be mean on me.”

This earned me a nice glare from old blue eyes.  “And I will tell her that you were being your normal annoying-self.  I’m sure she’d side with me instantly,” he snapped.

He’s probably right.

“Fiiinne.  I’ll just turn the other way and get a crick in my neck,” I whined as I began to turn so that I would be facing away from him.

I heard him huff before he spoke.  “Do you want the window seat?”

A smile grew across my face but I quickly wiped it away as I turned back towards him and asked, “Are you sure?  I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

“Shut the fuck up and just move,” he growled.

“Thanks buddy!” I smiled broadly and scooted underneath him as he stood up.  This could either be a very long trip or a fun one; it would all depend on how the two of us kept up our fake façade of not being pissed off at one another. 

To my horny dismay my last goodbye from Ari was a hot kiss before she walked out of my apartment, telling me to be safe and behave.  It took all I had not to whisk her back into my bed for another round. 

As we boarded the plane, she texted both Py and me the identical messages: Be safe. Good Luck. See you when you get back and hopefully I’ll have made my decision.

Europe was amazing, just like it was when I was in Sweden with the Penguins a couple years ago.  Many families of the European guys on our roster were on hand, meeting us on our day trips and tours of the countryside.  The nightlife was insane and it took a lot of discipline to not get myself in trouble, but having Pyatt with me, kept me honest.  Of course, it didn’t stop me from having a good time.

“Where are you headed?” Py asked as he walked out of the bathroom, finding me in my coat.

“Woliski, Turris, Uppy and I are headed out to some karaoke bar for a couple beers and songs,” I announced.  “You game?”

He looked down at his bare feet and then over to his phone that was lying on the bed, on top of his swimming trunks.  “Um, I think I’m just gonna hang out here.  I wanted to go down and swim a couple laps and relax in the hot tub for a bit,” he said quietly.

“You can do that in the states, bro.”

He took in a deep breath and said, “Look, what I’d really like to do is call Ari without you in the room.  Give me the directions to the bar and I will meet you out there,” he said with an almost annoyed tone.

“Oh,” I mouthed.  “Um, sure, I will write down the address for you and we’ll see you out there.”

“Do you want me to tell her you said, “Hi?” he asked seriously.

“Nah, not necessary.  I already talked to her a little bit ago.

“Oh, okay,” he said now sounding disappointed that I beat him to it.

“Alrighty, well, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.”

Ari actually had seemed to be surprised when she answered her phone and heard my voice on the other end.

“Hello?” she answered, sounding like she was pre-occupied with something else.

“Hello, Princess,” I said with a big smile.

“Paul?!  Wow, I didn’t expect to hear from you.”

“I figured I’d call and check in with you at least once or twice, just in case you forgot about me.”

I heard her smile into the phone, “I don’t think there is a chance of that.  How is it over there?”

“It’s amazing, but I wish you were here to see it with me,” I answered honestly.  I had seen so many beautiful places that I know she would have gone crazy over.  Plus, there was always that romantic aura about Europe, no matter what country you were in.

“You are just saying that to kiss my ass,” she giggled into the phone.  I could almost see her biting her lip and looking shyly down at her feet.

“You can think whatever you want, Senorita, but I only speak the truth.  So, since we are being so truthful, do you miss me?” I asked as I watched the people stroll by the café table I was sitting at.

“Nope.  I’ve actually been having the time of my life.  I’ve been out every night, dancing and getting all liquored up.  The kids asked me today if I was on drugs because my eyes were so bloodshot,” she said, trying her hardest not to let her laughter leak into her words.

“Damn! You’ve so been holding out on me, woman!  And here I am behaving myself as all these beautiful Czech women try to grind up on me and beg for some BizNasty!” I retorted.

Her laugh rang into my ears, “Okay, if you buy that, then I have a very special ocean front property to sell you here in Arizona.”

“So what have you really been doing?” I asked.

“Hanging out at the Doan house, getting my swim on.”

“Hmm, the view there might actually be a little better than the one I have here…”

“Yeah, okay…” she quipped sarcastically.

“I miss you, Ari,” I said emotionally into the phone, because this truly was the first time I actually missed a woman besides my mother or sister.

I heard her hesitate, like she might be saying something that shouldn’t be said.  “I never thought I’d be saying this, but I miss you too, Paul.”

A big grin came across my face as I did a small fist pump in the air.  Keep walking lady, who thinks I look weird because my girl just said she missed me! BOOM.  “Well, I better go before I rack up a $1000 phone bill that I might have to beg Upshall to pay for.”

I heard her giggle, “Okay, keep having fun and good luck with your game on Wednesday.  I’ll see if I can find it on the internet or something.”

“Thanks, princess.  I love you and I’ll call you again later on in the week.”

“Okay, bye Paul.”

I so just told the woman I loved her.  Wow, I’ve really gone off the deep end. 

The week was crawling by.  I was bored out of my mind and I just wanted the boys to get home.  Both Paul and Taylor called me a couple times each.  Paul of course was more upbeat sounding, Taylor on the other hand seemed depressed and my heart ached for him.  Unfortunately, I was not closer to a decision than I was before they left.

“You need to choose, Ari.  If you don’t you are going to lose them both,” Andre said as we drove to the mall to find Halloween costumes for the team party that the Doan’s were holding at the end of the month.

“You make it sound so easy,” I said flustered.

“Well, who are you most comfortable with?”

“Taylor.”

“Okay…who makes you laugh the most?”

“Paul.”

“Who do you have the most fun with?”

“Um…that’s a tough one…” I said.  Andre looked over at me and gave me a look of annoyance that told me I had to pick one, so I blurted out, “Paul, I guess?”

“Who do you find yourself thinking about throughout the day?”

“Taylor.”

“And how about at night?”

I laughed, “You have a dirty mind.”

“Answer the question,” she said in a taunting sing-song voice.

I could feel myself blush as I looked down at the floorboard of the car and mumbled, “Paul.”

“So he is good in bed!  I knew it!” she exclaimed as she slapped the steering wheel.

“Shut-up!” I yelled back, feeling the heat fully rise into my face.

“Don’t be such a prude, Ari!  You sooo have to dish it.”

I looked over at her and nervously played with my hands in my lap before exclaimed out, “Ohmygosh he’s completely amazing.  I’ve never had experiences like that with any man.”

Andre just laughed at my sudden brashness and then she got serious.  “Ari, do you think you are looking at Taylor as a serious choice because of how comfortable you are around him?”

“That is definitely something I’ve thought about,” I answered honestly.  I threw my hands up in the air and plopped them down onto my lap again, dramatically.  “He’s been my best guy friend since Steven passed.  He understands what I’m going through.  It’s nice to have that, you know?”

“I’m sure you can still have that if you don’t pick him,” Andrea said quietly.

“Paul makes me feel out of control though; he is just so different from any guy I have ever met.  He’s totally cocky and almost boarders on being a pompous ass at times.  His self-esteem is incredible and I feel like we are complete opposites at times; like I wouldn’t even find myself in his group if we just happened to meet in the street.”

“But I honestly need to tell you that you glow when you are around him, whether you are annoyed at him or not.  I saw how you were with him that night at Upshall’s party.  He holds your attention and you let your guard down with him when you don’t realize it,” she pointed out with enthusiasm as we pulled into the parking spot.

“So are you telling me that I should take the chance with getting hurt?”

“I am telling you that it’s okay to feel out of control.  I’m pretty sure you’d come to find a nice balance between the two of you if you got into a serious relationship.  After seeing Biz basically go through hoops for you a couple times, I’m pretty sure he’s serious about wanting things to work.”

I sat in the car a moment as I watched her get out and close the door.  I know she is right, but I just don’t know if I can take that scary first step into the unknown.